How To Help A Melancholy - Supportive Ideas and Suggestions
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Special Things That Significant Others Can Do For The Melancholy
- Provide them with truth, order, reliability, and dependability.
- Work very hard at helping at raise their self-esteem by reinforcing the positive and down playing the negative within the environment.
- Allow them quiet time alone in order to regenerate.
- Show them that they are loved and appreciated, displaying only minimal amounts of physical attention. Otherwise, they will feel crowded. The best way to show this individual you love and appreciate them by doing “special” things or tasks, such as washing window, putting gas in the car, or helping them with housework.
- Do not interfere with their independence or what they are self-motivated to do or accomplish.
- Provide them with a home that is orderly and acts as a sanctuary away from the rest of the world.
- Do not make them feel foolish, criticize them, or confront them for their mistakes.
- Do not force them to take on responsibilities or make decisions in “new” areas where they are not comfortable until they have had ample time for this to become a “known area.”
- Do not force them to take on the sole responsibility for someone else.
- Be careful with money and show that you are attempting to be conservative with money.
- Understand that they have a limited energy reserve and do not push them beyond this level.
- Encourage them to develop habits and to do the same things at the same time every day. This will ad to their efficiency.
- Assist them in finding employment in areas where they can undertake tasks with a minimal amount of interaction with people or general public.
- Help this individual learn how to deal with anger constructively instead of destructively.
- Help the Melancholy focus their minds on positive things, thinking on things that are good instead of things that are negative. This will lessen their moodiness and depression.
- Help them learn how to replace had habits with good habits, how to recognize their mistakes and learn from the past mistakes so they will not repeat them.
- Encourage them to show or express their deep and tender feelings in ways that are comfortable to them and to those they love.
What The Counselee Can Do To Help Themselves
- Deal with anger constructively.
- Give other and themselves the right to be imperfect.
- Forgive themselves and others for past mistakes.
- Find life situations where they can provide themselves with the quiet time alone they need every day.
- Provide themselves with life situations where they can undertake tasks that have a minimal amount of interaction with people.
- Find employment where they can work one steady shift. This will add to their efficiency.
- Develop habits of doing the same things at the same time every day to reach optimum productive potential.
- Keep their minds focused on the positive things in their lives in order to lesson moodiness.
- Show deep, tender feelings in ways that are comfortable to them and that others can understand.
- Replace bad habits with good habits.
- Maintain proper level of work, relaxation, diet, and exercise to maintain energy levels.
- Challenge intellectual energies in times of stress by reading, working, or other pursuits. This will also help break the downward thinking process.
- Do not force themselves to socialize often for long periods of time.
- Develop a deep personal relationship for which they would give up their lives. This will lessen loneliness.
- Focus their minds on the way people show their love for them instead of the ways they do not.
Behavior Changes To Bring A Melancholy Closer To God
- Forgive old, painful memories. Each time they are recalled, they need to remember that they forgave these things.
- Focus on what God has given them and develop a thankful attitude. This will lessen moodiness.
- Become secure in the love of God. They need to know they are worthy of His love. This will raise their self-perception and make them less fearful of rejection.
- Trust God to unlock their potential. They may rebel against what God wants them to do, especially in unknown areas.
- Develop a deep loving relationship with Christ to prevent sexual sins such as adultery, fornication, and romantic fantasies.
- Lessen criticism by looking at others with the eyes of Christ, giving them permission to be imperfect.
- Forgive themselves for past failures. They will beat themselves to death over mistakes.
- Follow God into the unknown to reduce their fear. They will fear the unknown to the point where it will immobilize them.
- Make themselves the best they can be according to the limits God has provided them. Then if they are rejected, offended, or insulted because of this, it is not their problem but that of the other person. They will find insult, offense, and rejection where none is meant. This fuels the circle of anger and vengeance.
- Make their lives pleasing to God and not society. They will feel guilty if they do not measure up to the standards set by society or their families.